Gaz Goes to Hogwarts
by SoulHideaway
Summary: Hp/IZ crossover: The Soul Hideaway team brings Gaz to Hogwarts, Dib decides to 'rescue' her and Zim follows out of suspicion. GIR becomes VIR, squirrels own suits, and absolutely NOTHING is as it seems.


Andraste & Dervish were sitting on "The Rock", talking to Shadows and Selene. The were bored out of there minds.  
"Well how about Hogwarts" Shadows suggested.  
"No, we were there last week' Andraste Whined  
"Hmmmm, maybe Helm's Deep?" Dervish asked  
"No, no wars going on" Andraste sighed again  
"Whadaya mean "No Wars"? They just had a huge battle"  
"But-But- If Mysterious fighters keep showing up they'll think we're on their side. We're just there to clam our bloodlust" Andraste pointed out.  
"Eh, maybe-"   
Suddenly there decision was made for them in a flash of light  
***************************************  
Our Founders dound themsleves standing on a familiar street.  
"We're on Dib's street!!" Dervish screeched, Jumping up and down. They looked at Giggalo, who appeared next to them.  
"I was reading a good book!" he whined  
Dervish hauled Giggalo to his feet, Grabbed Giggaloand Andraste's hands, and ran down the street hyeling "Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiib!! I'm here for you my sweet!!"  
Dib pocked hid head out of the window. "Who are you people?"   
Andraste Looked up "Well, I'm Andraste, this is Giggalo and that's your fangirl," Andraste answered, pointing at Dervish.  
"I've got… fangirls?"  
"Yes, I'm your biggest one!" Dervish called, smiling.  
"I've got fangirls!"  
"What're you yelling about Dib, you're ruining my concentration," Gaz yelled, poking her head out another window.  
I've got FANGIRLS!"  
"Who'd want to be your fangirl?" Gaz asked.  
"She's insane, that should explain it," Andraste said, patting Dervish's shoulder.  
Dervish grins and turns to Andraste. "I just had an idea."  
"What?" Andraste asks nervously.  
Dervish smiles again. "It's an interesting plan..." She whispers so Dib can't hear (or he'll freak). "Let's bring Gaz next time we go to Hogwarts!"  
"Yes!! But does she have magic talent?" She looks at Gaz  
"Well of course. Who else can climb a building with 70 floors just to get a new game?"  
Andraste nods "Yes insanity and magic go hand in hand, GAZ!!!! You're coming with us!!!" She grabs Gaz and drags her away. She has her Gameslave 2 so she's okay. Dervish giggles a bit like GIR and bounces after them.  
Dib shakes his head "I want sane fangirls!" he suddenly shrieks.  
"Sane ones are no fun!" Dervish calls back.   
Giggalo stands up and runs after them calling back "Sane.... What is this 'Sane'?"  
"You wouldn't like it, Giggalo," Dervish replies.  
"Oh," He says. Andraste takes out her Amazon battle staff (her wand is inside) and swirls it in a circle. A portal appears  
"WHEEEEEEEE we're going back to Hogwarts!" Dervish giggles.  
"Sevvie here I come!!" Andraste screams and jumps though the portal. Giggalo shakes his head and follows.  
"Wait for MEEEEEEEEE!" Dervish runs through.  
They appear in the great hall. Fall out of the sky onto the Slytherin table during lunch  
"Hello!" Dervish jumps off and bounds onto the ground.  
Andraste stands and does a summersault onto the ground before running over to Severus and jumping on his lap "I'm baaaaaaaaack!" she says to him with a grin  
Dervish blinks and looks at Andraste. "Sorry to interrupt but we have a student to sort."  
Andraste nods and disappears. She comes back with the Sorting Hat in hand. She hands it to Giggalo. She then snuggles up to Severus.  
Gaz looks quizzically at the sorting hat.  
"Just stick it on your head!" Andraste calls from her place in Sev's lap.  
"Okay..." She takes the hat from Giggalo and drops it neatly onto her head.  
Sev gives in and puts an arm around Andraste.  
The Sorting Hat stirs. Isn't it a bit late for sorting? He asks Andraste.  
Andraste sticks her tongue out. "It's Gaz" she says simply  
Ah. I see, the one you were always ranting about bringing?  
"Yep, finally got around to it"  
Well good, I've been waiting.  
Giggalo ran to the Hufflepufff table screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He stopped "Had to get that out of my system."  
Dervish cheers. "Good for you Giggalo! Now, sort Gaz and hurry up!"  
The hat nods (can hats nod??) and looks pensive…  
Slytherin!!!!!!!!!! he screams out  
Dervish shrieks. "WHOOOOOOOO! Congratulations Gaz for becoming a Slythie!"  
"Slythie??" Draco asks  
"Aw Draco it's just a pet name for us."  
"Yes," Andraste says "And I get to use it...We didn't wake up Australia."  
Draco looks confused  
"You aren't supposed to get it, don't worry Draco."  
Draco calms down a bit "You'll have to read it sometime" Andraste calls, nodding.  
"Nooooooo. Too scary for Draco, much ,MUCH too scary." Dervish nods frantically.  
"Okays," Andraste calls, depressed. Sev kisses her forehead and she smiles  
Gaz took off the Sorting Hat. "What exactly IS a Slytherin?"  
Andraste gasped  
"You don't know?" she said, shocked.  
"Well of course not, she's only been in HER universe before," Dervish replied.  
"That's no excuse!!" she turned "right Sev?"  
"Um…" wisely he kept his mouth shut  
"Well... Hogwarts has four houses, like teams. They are Griffindor *sticks tongue out in the Griffie's direction* Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. You're a Slytherin," Dervish finished.  
Gaz nodded absently  
"COME we must introduce you to the Slyths!" Dervish jumps up and runs around the table. "Where are Marlen & Luna?"  
"Where do you think Dirv?? Out sparring or riding!"  
"Well... yeah! Come on, you have to meet these Slyths if any." She drags Andraste away from Severus and catches Giggalo as he runs by. "Come on Gaz, wanna meet a dragon?" She drags them all outside.  
"Bye Sev!" Andraste calls  
*MEANWHILE IN THE ZIM UNIVERSE*  
Dib looked shocked. He stared at the portal. 'I have to save my sister' he thought and ran into the portal. Meanwhile Zim was spying on Dib. Seeing him run though the portal he got suspicious and fallowed  
They landed with a bump on the table as well, right after Dervish, Andraste, Giggalo and Gaz had left.  
"Who are you?" the Headmaster asked  
"Well I am ZIM, soon to be master of all humans!" Zim declared, standing on the table. "NO! He's an alien, trying to take over the world!" Dib shouted, glaring at Zim.  
Harry laughed. "Zim? I have enough to deal with so can you kill yourself for me?"  
Zim blinks, unused to being defied by anyone but Dib. "Um, well, er, NO! I shall conquer you all, you'll seeeee!" Dib glared some more and tackled Zim, thus began a very amusing food fight/wrestling match between them.  
If matters were not bad enough Sybil Trelawney stood up. "You will die!!!!!!" she said pointing at dib  
"WHAT?" Dib gets frantic and releases his hold on Zim's arms.  
GIR stands on the table and starts doing a dance "He will Diiiiie!!!!!!!! Yeah!!! He is going to die!!!"  
"GIR? What are you doing here, I told you to guard the house!" Zim says, taking the opportunity to grab Dib's wrists and hold them behind his back.  
"I saw a swirly-colorful thingy!!! It was neat!!!!!!"  
Zim sighs loudly and realizes the entire great hall is staring at him. "Oh! Um, this is my pet GIR!"  
Hermione immediately saw that GIR stood for something. "What does GIR stand for?" she asked.  
"I don't know!" GIR squealed, running in circles on the table. "E HEE HEE HEE HEE WAFFLES!"  
.:Outside:.  
Gaz, Giggalo, Dervish and Andraste searching the grounds for Marlen & Luna.  
"Why can't they stay by the lake once in a while?" Dervish grumbled.  
"Because they can't?" Andraste suggested  
"Good enough for me!" Dervish looks around. "Maybe they're in the Forbidden Forest."  
Andraste nods before walking over and yelling "Luna get your butt back here!"  
"MARLEN bring your scaly beast with you!"  
"Hold your horses!!" Was shouted back at them  
A spout of flame burst into the sky. "Galvei! That's bad! You can't set the Forbidden Forest on fire!" is heard from the flame's direction.  
"You know the sprit of the Sorting Hat?" Andraste asked. "He planted some trees and they turned into the Forbidden Forest. Became the hat as punishment."  
"Oh, cool!" Dervish grinned before turning back to the forest. "Come ON you two, we've got a new Slyth!"  
Luna came riding out of the forest on Darkness. "What's this about a new Slyth?" she asked.  
Marlen emerges riding Galvei. She looked at them. "Yes, what new Slyth? I hope it's not a nice little wimp like Willow..."  
Gaz Looked up from her Gameslave 2.  
"You know, that big dragon of yours is in my light..." she growled.  
Luna laughed. "Guess she isn't a wimp. Does she know how to use a weapon?"  
"Depends on which weapon you mean. She's got great reflexes and can create good plans, but no actual weapons yet." Dervish replied.  
Luna Looked shocked "She can use a bat." Andraste quickly assured her.  
"Oh I forgot about the bat..." Dervish mused.  
Luna calmed down a little. "What about a frying pan?"  
"I'm sure she can use one of those."  
Giggalo threw his hands up. "What is it with you and the frying pan?"  
Luna smiled as the three girls chorused, "Nothing."  
"It seems we need to teach this new Serpent how to fight," Marlen suggested.  
Andraste started to jump up and down "GOODIE!!!!" she screamed  
"Oh no. Andraste, we forgot to close the portal!" Dervish screeched suddenly.  
"Oh my god!!!!" Andraste screamed. "Your right!" she ran up the steps and into the great hall.  
"Come on Slyths! Emergency!" Dervish dashed after Andraste into the Great Hall. Dib and Zim had re-engaged in that fight and were rolling around on the table, amazingly missing the Stupefy spells aimed at them. GIR was still running around yelling about waffles.  
"Godess!" Andraste screamed. "Who was the last though the portal?"  
"Gaz and me were the last ones," Dervish said, panicking. She notices the others. "DIB!"  
"Stop all the magic!" Andraste screeched, "Zim and Dib break it up. GIR if you don't stop I will take away your tacos!!!!"   
The whole hall was silent   
"NUUUUUUU not my tacos!" GIR ceased instantly.  
"Yes GIR, your tacos!!!!!, you want to keep them?" GIR nodded "then Shut the Fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
You could tell Andraste was in a bad mood  
GIR's eyes teared but he stayed silent. Dib let go of Zim and stood up awkwardly. Zim glared and stood as well.  
"That's better" Andraste spoke calmly but you can tell she would explode at a moments notice "Now what are you all doing here?" She said to Dib and Zim.  
"You kidnapped Gaz!" Dib says, pointing accusingly at Andraste. "I simply followed the Dib-human," Zim replied, looking sullen.  
"Gaz is in no danger, she is here to learn magic and how to fight. We feel she has the attitude and will but no skills." Andraste said as if speaking to a three year old "Zim why did you want to fallow a stupid earthling?" She questioned.  
"Er.... Suspicion?"  
"Did you ever thing that while he is away you wouldn't have anyone messing p your plans and you could take over while he was inside the portal?"  
Zim's eyes widen. "I MISSED MY CHANCE!"  
"Yes Zim, you did," Andraste said sadly. "Now I can't send you home yet... But I'm sure you can stay here," She said, giving the headmaster puppy eyes.  
Dib looked at her, shocked. "WHAT?! He's an ALIEN! He's evil!"  
"And what harm will he do?" Andraste questioned.  
"Well..." Dib searched for an answer.  
"He will do as much harm as Voldemort in Speedos with a pony," Andraste pointed out.  
Dib looked confused but he got the point. Zim looked curious. "Who is this "Voldemort' you speak of?"  
"A bad evil guy out for my blood," Harry replied.  
"Is he a mighty master of DOOM?"  
"Yes." Harry deadpanned.  
"I must meet this Doom Master Voldemort!" Zim declared.  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you" Luna said.  
"AND WHY NOT?"  
"He might kill you on the spot." Luna said. Andraste stepped in. "-but they are alike: the green skin, red eyes, no ears, no eyebrows, no nose… Now that I think about it, they're so alike it's scary."  
"You know.... You're right." Dervish shuddered.  
"Aren't I always" Andraste asked "Now Headmaster may they stay in our rooms with us" "Of course Andraste and if you could come to my office later?"  
No problem Albus." She said and dragged everyone to Soul Hideaways rooms in Hogwarts.  
"All right then, let's split up the rooms. Who's staying in Giggalo's room? GIR of course. Now for you Andraste. Who's in your room?"  
"I will have to say that a boy should not be in a girl's room."  
"They're all boys Andraste, we can separate the halves of the rooms with a curtain."  
"We have a common room too, Zim and Dib sleep on the couch."  
"They'll kill each other, you know that right?"  
"Yes. Will save us the trouble."  
Dervish nodded, smiling, and looked at Gaz. "Luna and Marlen can show you the Slyth dorms."  
"LUNA!!! MARLEN!!!" Andraste Called  
"COMING! Sheesh, you guys are so impatient! It's HARD getting up all those stairs all the way from the Slytherin common room!"  
Well you could just follow us around!!!" Andraste yelled back.  
"Well yeah, but where's the fun in that?" Marlen asked, appearing at the top of the stairs.  
"I don't know," Andraste said. "Take Gaz to the dorms and make sure she knows the Code of Conduct; she will be quizzed on it tomorrow."  
"The entire thing?"  
"Yes the entire thing."  
"You shall burn in hell for making me stop playing." Gaz said from the couch where she was calmly playing her Gameslave 2.  
Dervish smiled. "That's the Slythie spirit!"   
"Well if you don't have it memorized by tomorrow I will take the spell I put on the Gameslave off so that the magic will stop it from working." Andraste smirked.  
Gaz gave Andraste her famous glare. "Fine."  
"Good, off you go," Andraste pushed them out the door, "Have a good night."  
Dib looks nervously at Zim, who was smiling and rubbing his gloved hands together. "Good night Andraste, Dervish, Giggalo and GIR," he said calmly.  
"Night," They chorused and went into their rooms for a good night.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
AN: Hope you like......You can stop being lazy and review if you want 


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